4-4-2016 9:40 PM. As the wife and kids lay their heads down. I finished up last weeks invoice and emailed it out. My phone rings, I haven’t seen this number for a few months. He tells me I’m to loving with a open heart. I said I know, but that’s me and I hope it never fades, he said it never will. “I truely love you” came from his mouth. Never heard this before from him to me. I’ve said it to him in the past, but nothing in return. From a grandfather to a child. The few seconds of wrapping my mind around those words seemed to open my heart up just a little more. He knows my heart is on the outside of me and I show it. How would he know such a thing, he is locked up and had been for a long time. That’s what people see and that’s why people are attracted. He explained.Love! He says he don’t know how to love. I sat back at a glimps of his reality and knew love was far from him. He told me jr never had a chance. Under his moms wing like a puppet. Then blew his brains out. Our conversation was agreed on in a few different ways with my fathers situation that took his life
He says my father was the one who had it bad, not him. I agreed, as Manson was locked up, Manson Jr. had to grow up in a shadow he was not prepared for as a child. I’ve talked with a few people who knew Jr. They said his days were limited, he was to loose, no care. Then others say how open, friendly and loving he was. I’ve had the mixed opinions from people toward my fathers life here on earth. I’ve always thought,If you didn’t really know me as a person, and was to place your thoughts of who I am,it would depend on what kind of day I’m having, week or year. Then opinions are placed on people what their going through. Not for the true people they areThat’s just common society gossip crap.
If you can read people at all, you’ll see that it’s not easy walking in someone else’s shoes. As I walk through life I take that role on. I put myself in others shoes through out my days. Looking back at where I was to where I am now, then onto my dreams and goals in my future. It’s easy looking back, knowing my steps to be where I am now. My challenge lays in being patient in the present to create that positive vision God intends for me in the future.
The shoes that were passed down to me didn’t seem hard to fill and press through. It took me a long time to gain understanding in life through falling down and walking my path in life. Challenging but well worth my energy. Overcoming the want to walk and live in the world was my hardest challenge in life. Focus on the Family and seeing little my boys grow into young men. I often look back, remembering the shoe string budget my mom and dad raised us all on. I don’t know how my mother didn’t snap, crack then pop all of our heads off. Oh man, from bee bee gun wars, to robbing the local candy store. Skipping school to fighting weekly. Action was always taking place at or around the Freeman home. My Dad played in a band for years and we had good friends across a 3 county area. But all good things tend to fade. We all grown rom kids to parents, winging half or more of our parenthood skills.
I can admit that my quality of being a husband, father, son and a friend will always be improving. Always changing and improving to be a better person, as should everybody. Keeping the future in mind while figuring out your present and looking back on your past. I’ll be 40 in September. Don’t be shy, send a gift. A couple knee braces, hand and foot scrub kit, couple hats, a few oil field tally books.
I’m thankful for the readers who take the time to read my articles. It means a lot me to. Thank you Amber Turner for the encouragement to share my story, my walk and some of the places I have been.
God Bless your walk, If you don’t see why God gets the glory in my life, I’ll explain in detail how I have seen and do see Gods movement all around us.
Jason Freebird Freeman