I know we all face doors that shut and oppertunity that knocks. I struggle with always making the right choices. As I lay here before the birds wake up I think back on yesterday. “What could I of done different, were my actions in that situation handled properly, did I talk to my kids the right way?” These are just basic questions that are in my head daily. I’m home now, no Oil Field, cutting it up, acting a fool with a group of guys at work. Man stuff. This is now real life everyday all day. I just went from a Billion dollar operation in the Field of Dreams, Right back into a Billion dollar operation. I’m only a little ant on a big hill. My wife calls me the mighty Ant. Do ants wake up before Birds? I bet they don’t sleep. 

             I personally have to do a 3 month evaluation of self, every  90 days. It’s a must in my world. Sometimes Daily. Don’t hold back any punches. I can see it now, the inner me and my flesh in a 6 rd fight. The Fleshly me is real. He brings up all the nasty shit I thought of or the stuff I brushed under the rug. Oh ya, I’m losing at this point in this fight. I think of holding the door for the old lady, take her food to her car for her. See, I’m back on my feet. Fighting back. The Flesh (Me) The Innerman (Christ or the Holy Spirit) you get the picture. So it’s Wednesday and I’m doing good. I took all 3 boys to different places and called my 4 th boy for quality Father Time. The wife and I went to eat and look over the New Area we are in. I’m on top now, I got the The Flesh on the ground. I’m feeling good, confident! 

               The start of Round 4 and I think I’m ready. “I worked a long day. Pulled up at the store. I saw a guy coming toward the door so I waited. He looked up, opened the door enough so he can get out”.  Then turned his head.  You guessed it, the Fleshly man had me flat on my back. I’m saying words that you don’t say around your mom, because no matter what age you are you’ll get your face slapped. At that point I had to tell myself, “everybody in the world is in their own World.” We can’t take our emotions and let them have the ball at the end of the third quarter. “So I got mad and relaxed all in the same 3- maybe 15 seconds”. The Inner man was back for another round.

             I’m pointing out a basic situation that’s easy to handle. Wrestling with the fleshly man and the inner spirit man is no joke. Situations do get deeper fast. We all know it and we all go through it. That skit was short and to the point. It was real….As real as losing a loved one, to wishing someone would die. From additions to seeing friends overdose. The battle is in us. My Grandfather says “if they can’t beat you between the ears, you win” As he tells me of multipul beatings he has taken from the Guards while locked up.

            I had a friend tell me one time. (Purdy) “I didn’t know you were a Christian man.” I told him not to spread the word to fast. We both laughed. Something happened that day. We started talking about kids and family a lot more. Cars being broke down to late bills. We both thought the Oil Field was the life changing choice for the family. We were able to share ups and downs about our home and our family. If the inner me didn’t show that day, we would of not shared what The Lord has blessed us with. Scooter, I love you man. Thank you for being you!

Don’t let this world hold you down, don’t think for one minute that the heavy boot will just let up. Your face is in the mud for a reason. Don’t look for the reason down there. Fight back and get up, figure out why you were there later.

If those are words of wisdom and understanding. Somebody copy and share. When I’m having a bad day, this will circle back around for me to read. 

Thank you all Friends & Loved ones!

     Jason Freebird Freeman